a twenty year-old soldier, deeping an escape fantasy into the wilderness of lifestyle, fashion, music, politics and the suffocation of everyday living. allow me to take my emotions and paint the world white.

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BROTH just sliding off those sleezy bar by the junction. located above Duxton Hill, comes a very relax and romantic get away-like semi-fine dining heaven. Where modern Australian is a choice and service is at it's excellence.

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25 August 2005 @ 12:21 pm

to gibber and prattle

Everything, just everything wants to pour it out in furey, angst and furiosity. But I'm going to disicipline myself to take it slow, so I won't come back to think I've lost some points that are meant to be posted.

Firstly, yesterday was a long day and it was also a day I got really fucking mad at 2 of close to say bestfriends. Coming to a point that everything is going to end. First is Ernie who really started everything and I'll blame her for suqare one. Me and fad though that it was over after she gave us her childish turnover but we were wrong. There were more from where it came. I came to learn that she's not wearing the tie as plan and that pissed me off. I alwasy hated her guts and her broken hopes and here is the line for it. Everytime she promises us something and cling hope to it, just to see it NOT happen in the end. I'm not furious beause she's not wearing tie or so, but that she is still doing the same old fucking shit over and over again. And I think everything needs to hold a pause or an end. And there again came another problem about the yet to be organised suprised birthday party. She consulted me for help to carry the chicken to the pit but I denied it. And she must have gibber about it to Rachael and thats what that made me and Rachael argue nonsensically till I'm pretty sure we're going to draw the line. And it's all because of that fucking Ernie. If would'nt for her, this would not have even happened. Because I really can't see any other link to Rach's msg to me. Everything seems to link back to Ernie.

And ehre comes Rachael pounding on me with an sms just half an hour ago saying that I'm the most happiest person on earth that the party ended. I don't get her point at all. Cause the only problem that she faced from me is I denied Ernie in helping her to carry the chicken. And tell me people; because of that you're gonna cancel the BBQ? So she make it look like I am the one to be the blame when come to learn that actually the birthday girl itself isn't vacent on that day. How good planning is that? And she's putting the blame all over everyone else when she can't even handle and manage a simple fucking BBQ pit. And she's talking about breaking friendshipS with this. How does that got to do with the whole thing? If YOU can't handle and manage the fucking thing by yourself, then you should have seeked help from others way in advance. You coming to ask me help in the last of most minutes when I'm already booked for other things. So whose childish now? And whose the one that is blaming others? Stop finding a scapegoat for all of your anger and frustrations.

But one thing is for sure that I'm drawing the line with Ernie and if Rachael is of most happy to be the next then let it be with her blessings. It's hard to make it sound this way but it's to show what I'm capable of to cross beyond lines to save everything from everyone else. This isn't of being a martyr, it's just a simple sacrifise.